Overview
I figured that I would write this blog partially because I want to put down my thoughts about depression, and partially because I have realized that there really are a lot of people who have depression like me, and can relate to what I have felt. Depression isn't that simple. There is more then one way to feel depressed, which can be hard for people without depression to understand. I decided to try to chronicle my battle with depression so that maybe others with depression can relate, or those without depression can gain some understanding.
Sunday, July 1, 2012
Sleeping, my love/hate relationship...
So basically sleeping and i don't really get along, even though i love sleeping deeply... I don't think its my fault, i blame Depression for screwing with my relationship with sleeping. One of the signs of depression is sleeping way to much or not nearly enough. Ughh. You wake up tired either way, whether you have overslept or under-slept. My first year of college before i was on any meds i slept 3-5 hours a night, and then about 10 on weekends. I actually felt great a lot of the time, and was really focused and doing well. With winter came depression, but i still managed to do my work, I just avoided people. As soon as i got home for the summer boom i was sleeping 12 a night. At first i thought it was just catching up, but three months later when i could not wake up with less then twelve hours of sleep i was concerned. I would sleep in, and then not be tired until 14-16 hours later, so then when i slept twelve hours after going to bed successively later i was sleeping in successively later. If my mom came in and chewed me out and stayed til i got up i could get up but would feel really tired. At the end of the summer i started on Prozac and it was amazing that i could sleep 8 hours and feel rested. I felt like i could take on the world. When bouts of depression would come, a lot of times i would sleep them off. If i wasn't depressed i could still sleep fine. Then this spring and summer rolled around and it got progressively harder for me to wake up/go to sleep. I don't know why summer makes me so sleepy, but it does. Anyways i worked out a system where i take my Seroquel at precisely 8 PM, and then at 10/11 i start getting ready for bed even though i don't want to. If i do this i can get up at about nine the next morning. At least i'm not sleeping through the day anymore... If only i could be nocturnal :P
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